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 Insults with Wit

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PostSubject: Insults with Wit   Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:30 am

Credit goes completely to Louisa who sent this to me, and which I thought you would enjoy as well. Thanks Louisa, you rock!




The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor - She said, If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli - "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts.. . for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Enjoy, and thank you again to Lou!
huuuug
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Dictionary Definition : Laura: Also known as "Solveig", her internet pseudonym, this female specimen of Homo Sapiens founded the Literary Cabinet world. One can spot "Laura," by the fun she has grading papers and drinking coffee, with triple coffee consumption ever since she quit smoking. Like another species, Homo Sapiens Zarasahanous, she enjoys picking at the extreme Twilight fans. This specimen is particularly fond of procrastinating, as most of the other species of the Literary Cabinet Universe are.
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PostSubject: Re: Insults with Wit   Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:34 am

clapping clapping clapping

Perfect start for a day that has already begun with a lack of coffee.

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Dictionary Definition : Dictionary Definition: Paul-One of the few male LC creatures known to exist, this specimen is one of the eldest in the LC universe. This specimen is known to work long hours but still makes time to commingle with fellow LC denizens. This being has a peculiar sense of humor and has been observed to shun smilies, although this aversion has been lessening as of late.
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PostSubject: Re: Insults with Wit   Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:15 am

Thanks for that, Lilli! It's great to see that some of the finest literary and political minds created were, actually, human, and that they had a great sense of humor!

rofl

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Dictionary Definition : Rodent - Homo Rodentiensis is a typical LC creature. Always ready to laugh about stupidity, this being has long occupied a special moderator status on the LC. As one of the very few LC creatures who actually can get and keep a partner, she is the object of constant envy. Though madness is not part of the average Rodents characteristics, this particular feature can at times be subject to change, especially when striken by severe sleep deprivation.
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PostSubject: Re: Insults with Wit   Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:40 pm

BRAVO!!!!!

Now...here's an insult with a bit less wit, but an insult none the less.


"I can lose weight but you'll always have the face of a bulldog licking piss off a thistle."

rofl
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Dictionary Definition : Louisa Lynn--a unique specimen of the female gender of Homo Sapiens that has almost everything in common with another species: Homo Sapiens Zarasahanous. This specimen is always found with Asian (Filipino) descent and is a loyal friend to the "good side" during the epic Choco War. A common mutualistic companion found with this specimen is a Pokemon (most likely, the epic Arceus). This species is closely related to the species Homo Sapiens Tourterelleous. Common names include Lynn's Angel.
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PostSubject: Re: Insults with Wit   Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:00 pm

Oh, I had never given a thought to posting that here when I sent it to you, Lillian. I'm glad you did. The guys mentioned are my heroes. I think Winston Churchill is the freaking best. lol! Really loved the "Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second...if there is one." LMFAO! =)))))))))
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